Thursday, February 07, 2008

My God

I don't talk about my faith or my belief system much. But it is a big part of me an I will be sharing more of it from here on out. I stumbled on to this video a while back, before the darkness came. I went looking for it again today. What I saw was me over the last year struggling against something and crying out to God. It was so powerful for me. I hope it touches you, as well.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


That's what I've been concentrating on lately. Not actually putting it into practice, so much as, figuring out how to do it. My counselor and I have been discussing it. It's what she suspicions is behind the depression. So, my homework was to make a list of ten things that I could do, that would be "self-care" for me. It was hard for me to come up with ten things but I did and here it is.

1. Exercise- I know that I feel so much better when I get into a routine of this-I just need to do it

2. Read a book- Sounds simple, right? But for me just taking that time for myself is hard

3. Take a knitting class- this is tough because I have to go out of town to take one and I have to come up with the money to take it

4. Piano Lessons- this one I really want, because it is absolutely just for me. So, we are trying to figure out if we can swing it within our budget

5. Manicure/Pedicure- I've not actually had either before but it seems very indulgent to me
6. Massages- I love these

7. Raise Chickens-This one is tough on two levels, first I have to get everyone on board with me, i.e. Husband. Second it costs money!

8. Crafting- I love to craft-knitting, stamping, making cards, sewing, beading. Love, love, love it.

9. Knitting for me-I hesitate to knit things for myself. I tend to knit for others

10. Buy fresh flowers regularly-Especially in the winter months

The hardest part of this is that I'm supposed to do these things even when I feel like I'm not doing my stuff around the house. So, what do you do for Self-care? And how do you feel about doing those things if you aren't fulfilling your other responsibilities?

Aahh, I can breath again

Thank the Lord I am feeling much, much better. I feel like myself again. That dark cloud seems to have vanished. After so long of it being here I kind of catch myself looking for it. But I feel free now. I can tell everyday things are better. Just little things I catch myself doing that I haven't done for so long. So, for me meds aren't the answer. At least not this time. Counseling instead. I'm a talker, go figure. So, maybe now I'll be more active posting? Maybe.......maybe not. LOL